Archive for June, 2009

Starting a business – is the business you choose viable?

June 28th, 2009

My wife Maryellen bought a computer today.

Long time computer junkie that I am, I would normally be very interested in the specs, but I wasn’t. I just told her to go to Sam’s Club (she likes shopping there) and buy whatever she wanted.

Because you know what? The “specs” really don’t matter anymore.

There was a time when it really mattered. Like I said, I’m a computer junkie – I’ve built and repaired more computers than I can count. I can remember setting up a new sound card in DOS, and the absolute magic that Windows 95 was (where plug n play sort of worked!) I was always concerned with processor speed, cache, megahertz, gigahertz, RAM, Video RAM, etc etc.  (stay with me – I do have a point to make.)

But today, computer specs hardly matter anymore - almost any machine you buy off the shelf will suffice nicely. And they are now dirt-cheap – Maryellen bought a new Hewlett Packard with fairly high specs, with a beautiful 22″ LCD widescreen monitor, for about $700. Are you kidding me? At one time, I spent $500 on just a video card. And $200 for another 4 megs of RAM. And put em’ in myself…

My goodness, computers have been reduced to TV’s in terms of buying new – buy one, when it doesn’t suffice anymore, you buy another. No need to ever buy parts or fix them or such.

So how’d you like to own a computer repair shop today? (see, I told you I had a point)

Really – ten years ago, there were no less than 7 local computer repair shops in my area. Today, there might be one. And I’ll bet business isn’t so good.

Same with video rental stores – remember how many there were ten to twenty years ago? My goodness, they were everywhere… and now they’re almost all gone.

They say hindsight is 20/20, but in both of these businesses, I feel the end was clearly in sight. In fact, in one of my first business ventures back in 1991, one of the many things I did was sell local ads on the boxes you brought your videotape home in. I’d provide the video stores with my boxes (so they didn’t have to buy boxes), and also paid them a few dollars for using the boxes with the ads pasted to them (making this a no-brainer for video stores.)

So I got to know a lot of video store owners – and I remember asking a few “doesn’t this seem like a limited lifespan business?” Pay-per-view was just getting started, and if that wasn’t HUGE writing on the wall, I don’t know what is. Plus, I also knew that people would rather own many of the movies – if the price was right (and in 1991 it wasn’t, but that would soon change with DVD.)

But none of the video store owners thought their business would ever end. I know quite a few of them lost a LOT of money in the end. And really, with a little objectivity, they could have seen this coming.

And that’s my point – if you are starting a business, be truly objective in the viability of your business. Because I’m sure it sucks royally to spend 5 years building something up, and then seeing it go under a few years later.

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Business relationships ending

June 23rd, 2009

I wrote in Start and Run a Real Home Based Business that almost all business relationships will end sooner or later. That client you have that gives you solid work month after month…  guess what? That relationship will eventually end.

Be it change in management, new ownership, fires, floods, locusts eating your client’s crops, recession, falling sales, change of direction, or even “just because we want to look at someone new”, the business relationship will eventually end. And you need to be ready for it (it’s one reason I don’t take on any job that blocks all of my time – I will never give any one client my full attention for more than a few days. Even 300+ page jobs, of which I had 2 last year, were done over a period of time, with outside help.)

I was reminded of ”all business relationships will end” today. When I got fired from my last job (2001), I started freelancing the e-commerce programming I did at that job. This eventually turned into copywriting (which I knew had to happen, as the software I specialized in was being phased out), but even to this day, I still had 2 old e-commerce clients who kept the old software and needed me from time to time. I kept these clients because I enjoy the “logic buzz” that programming gives me – kind of keeps that left brain occupied.

Anyway, one of the “remaining two” was my very first, meaning we had been doing business together since 2001. Well, two years ago, they had major shakeups, new management, etc etc… I sensed the relationship changing. Where it used to be ”just call Dan, tell him what we want, Dan does the work and sends a bill”, it became “send us a complete itemized estimate for this project and we’ll think about it”. Basically, it became very formal and corporate. Which bugged me a little because that’s not me. It also bugged me because I really did exceptional work for them – always on time, always right, I made little modifications for free, etc. But the new people didn’t “know” me. I could just hear them saying “who’s this shorts-clad Night Owl schmuck sitting in some NY basement that we send a grand to every now and then??”

Then, last year, they got to a point where they didn’t pay me for work I did. I had to chase them for payment (and I *detest* that. I hate being bullied by corporate idiots.) I finally got paid when they decided I was too valuable to let get away (I am literally one of a scant handful that works with this particular software). But you know, I can be a formal, unfeeling corporate prick too – after that, I started insisting on prepayment for any job. They whined, but I held firm, and for the past year, they paid prior to me tapping a single key.

Well, today we spoke, and I sensed it was the end. There’s a problem that their software can’t handle, why can’t I make it work without more hours, why should they pay for further development (errr, because that’s how it works?) Then I found out they were talking to another company, and would upgrade to newer software, etc etc. Which doesn’t bother me – I kind of expected this two years ago. And I’m pretty busy writing anyway – the EDI (which is the e-commerce stuff I did) is extra lunch and DVD money, really. 

But this did make me think a bit – here I’ve been working for them for 8 years. For six of those eight, the relationship was perfect. And for eight of those eight, I did *stellar* work. And it didn’t matter.

Almost all business relationships end, folks. Don’t ever forget that.

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Online, you have to have quality leads

June 19th, 2009

I recall some website writing I did for this one company. They advertised on Google adwords, and had a budget of $2 a day. For their business, that meant 2 clicks. 2 clicks a day, and they were done. And they complained after 3 days that my writing wasn’t bringing in business… well, it’s kinda hard to judge from 6 visits (to be fair, I didn’t know their PPC budget when starting the job – I just assumed they would deliver eyeballs.)

I told them they had to get more interested people to the site. So they changed their keywords, and made it so their $2 budget would bring in 10 people a day. No effect – now the problem was the keywords were awful. Yea, they were cheap keywords… and they were useless. The client actually expected the web copy I wrote him to “make up” for the fact that the leads were lousy. That’s not going to happen.

On the internet, you have to have quality visitors. Period.

You can’t fool around on the fringes with your Pay Per Click keywords. The fringes are great for filling out your marketing, but you cannot expect copy to make up for bad leads. If you are a local carpet cleaner, you need to have “{your city} carpet cleaning” as a keyphrase. I don’t care how much it costs. If you design websites for florists, you need to have “web design for florists” as a keyphrase. You can’t omit these in favor of, say, “flower seller internet design” because the latter is cheaper. You won’t get the same quality visitor. 

It’s this simple: No writing, no expensive design, no nothing will help you until your site is visited by people who want/need what you have/do.  

Great web copy can work magic with the right visitors. I prove it every single day. Give me people who are interested in your product and service, and I’ll sell them. It’s what I do. But you do have to deliver those eyeballs.

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Spam Subject Lines

June 17th, 2009

From the old blog last year – still funny today.

***************

Spam subject lines are funny.  I don’t trust spamblockers, so I get it all. Here are a few that I recently got:

Big Your Piano – Be a Real Man  (what??)

Emanuel Sando has been plagued by a series of spills at big-time events!!  (who?)

New way to give her pleasure that she always dreamt! 
 
Jackhammer Millie!!  (I’m assuming this is the pleasure she dreamt of?) 

Museum Hysterectomy!

Give little bro another few inches  (errr… no)

Cordela sent you a zebowel.hk greeting  (yea, choose “zebowel” as your domain name – that’ll get me to click.)

Biggerer (I assume this was conceived by the same person who came up with “it’s thickerer” for the 1970′s era “Chunky” candy bar commercials.)

She waits for you by cold river (Millie, I hope)

Posted in Misc / Personal Stuff | No Comments »

Test came out fine

June 17th, 2009

Since I blogged about it, I should probably say that the colonoscopy came out fine.

You know, I find it mildly funny that  the result I was hoping for was for the doctor to say “yea Dan, you know that horrible day of prep you went through?? It was completely unnecessary”.

Which is essentially what happened.

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Something a little personal (a somewhat gross public service announcement)

June 15th, 2009

A little grossness follows… bodily functions and the like. But maybe it’ll save someone’s life.

A little more than 15 years ago, my mom had colon cancer. Looking back at it, it really should have not been a surprise – this definitely ran in her family. However, my mom, like most people, never got checked for it.

The reason nobody gets checked for it is a colonoscopy (and the prep for it) isn’t the most pleasant thing to think about. And yes, a “colonoscopy” is exactly what you think it is. And since the view needs to be clear, the day before your procedure you can’t eat anything (save for broth and Jello… and I despise Jello). And, besides not eating, you have to drink this stuff that… yea.

Basically, I’m saying it’s not fun at all. Because I’m going through it right now – my last food was a Peanut Butter (JIF Creamy) and Jelly sandwich last night at midnight… it’s now 4:14pm as I type (and I’m an hour into drinking the “purging stuff”). I go in at 7am tomorrow. Let me tell you – there isn’t much worse than this. But I’m doing it. In fact, I do it every five years, because the doctors say since my mom had it, her kids are prime candidates. I’m 42, and this is my third one.

So, why am I telling you this? Because colon cancer is easily one of the most detectable forms of cancer out there. Early detection almost ensures not just survival, but a fairly simple removal (my mom survived, but it was a hell of a year in doing such - happily, she’s now 67 and healthy as a horse… ummm… the healthy kind of horse…. just saying I never got that expression.) 

In fact, if you get the test, they can snip out whatever “polyps” they find, which could prevent you from ever getting the cancer in the first place.

So again, I’m mentioning this because maybe someone says “hey, if somebody as cool and awesome as Dan isn’t afraid to get this test (and publically say so), maybe I won’t be either”. At least that’s what I think they’ll say.

Now, not everyone who’s 42 needs to get this test – they say most people should get it around 50 – but if there’s family history (like mine), you should get it earlier. It’s a day of hell, but I’d rather go through that than what my mom went through.

Ok, I’d say “I gotta go”, but that’s a really bad pun. So I’ll just say “later” instead.

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Hilarious

June 8th, 2009

Ok, children of the 80′s… here’s one of those cheesy 80′s videos (Total Eclipse of the Heart) with the literal translation of what is happening in the video.

And it’s absolutely hilarious – one of the funnier things I’ve seen online.

Like last time, this has nothing to do with business – but so what…

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So… what are you doing with yourself??

June 6th, 2009

I’m a fan of Garrison Keillor.

If you don’t know who he is, he’s a radio guy/writer, and the creator (and essentially the star/emcee) of A Prairie Home Companion, which can be heard on NPR stations nationwide on Saturday nights. Maryellen and I often listen to this show while we’re doing our Saturday Night deck thing (which is basically hanging out on our deck, having a drink, and enjoying the peaceful calm of our backyard… it’s a really nice place.) In a world of noisy mass-media, the simple, homespun variety show Keillor puts on is like a breath of fresh air. And being on the radio makes it even more-so.

You can also hear Keillor weekday mornings on NPR doing his “writer’s almanac”, which is a five minute piece of… civility is the best word I can use to describe it. He talks about what happened on this date in relation to writing / famous authors and the like, and he always recites a poem towards the end. Then he signs off with that odd voice of his saying “be well, do good work, and keep in touch”… 

I mention Keillor, because as I listened to “Writer’s Almanac” yesterday (and recalled many PHC shows), a thought popped into my head – this man is doing exactly what he should be doing with his professional life.

It struck me as comforting – I really like it when people take their talent (or their calling) and succeed.

I can think of many people who are doing that – most of your writers, artists, sports stars, actors… these people are generally doing what their talents and skills dictate they should do. But it goes beyond that – I know a few tradespeople – plumbers, a builder, etc who are also doing exactly what they should be doing with their life. And how about a top chef? I would bet he or she is doing what they should be doing. Heck, many stay at home moms were meant to be moms, and it’s something they do extremely well. What I’m saying is, you need not be rich or famous to fall into this category.

But for as many people that I can think of who are doing this, I can think of millions more who are not. People who are just… doing whatever it is they do, with no real direction or reason save a paycheck. I mean, does anyone really want to be a middle manager? Or a cashier? Or a receptionist? Or work as a low level schlub in the marketing department?

Probably not.

Now I don’t disparage anyone who does these kinds of jobs - sometimes finding “your thing” takes time. I worked many a shit job until I finally figured out what I “should” be doing, and started doing it. In fact, I personally feel that I’m only 70%-75% there. I still have a little further to go – there’s more consulting/speaking type things to do (I think); and a “bigger” book or three to write. But I’m definitely on the road I need to be on.

So where are you in your journey? Are you pointed in the right direction? Are you doing (or moving towards) what you should be doing?

And if not, then what are you doing?

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A dirty little advertising trick

June 1st, 2009

A group of TV advertisers are resorting to pretty slimy form of trickery with their advertising and sales pitch.

The advertisers in question are the slicer / dicer / cleaner / handy dandy gadget type advertisers. They usually have a hype-filled one-minute commercial, and then, at the end say “and you can get yours for only 19.99…. BUT WAIT…. Call now, and we’ll throw in a SECOND one for free. That’s TWO slug trail removers for only $19.99″

Obviously, I made the product up, but my point should be clear. They throw in a second one for free. Ok, that’s not so bad. So what’s the slimy trick?

The trick comes in when you order. A computer recording takes your order, and asks you how many you are ordering… they fail to mention they want to know how many SETS OF TWO you are ordering.

So the commercial says 2 slicer dicers for $19.99. The computer voice asks how many you want. You say “two”, thinking one, plus the free one. 

They then send you TWO ORDERS OF TWO.

They basically get a double order from almost everyone. And, it’s such a pain in the ass to send something back via mail, most people say “oh well, I’ll just give one away”.

Pretty slimy, huh?

Anyone need a magic slicer?

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